Memories of a Thousand Lives
by On va voir
Summary: 'Steve was somewhere between the helicarrier and his memories. Bucky's face in the distance, letting him go. Not like he could blame him.' Steve remembers on the way down.


Okay so this was brought on by me re-watching captain america and going holy shit I need to write this so yeah, sorry i know it's really shite.

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Bucky's face looked down on him. His expression that was once so clear was now so blank.

"cause I'm with ya, till the end of the line"

Steve was somewhere between the helicarrier and his memories. Bucky's face in the distance, letting him go. Not like he could blame him.

Falling through the air he realised, he was going to die. And Bucky's face would be the last thing he saw. Which was okay, maybe it was time to die. And it wasn't like he was trying or anything. Just maybe being a bit reckless in battles.

Memories were all around him. Steve bringing Bucky home to his ma telling her he made a friend. He was so excited and Bucky was smiling at him.

Telling ma he thought he was in love. They had many late night talks before she ushered him to bed. When she died it left a terrible blow to Steve.

He came home to find her not moving in her bed. Lips pale and tinted blue. He sat there in shock. It wasn't till Bucky came around later he felt like he was at least living again. He learnt rule number 1. Don't get attached. Bucky was the only person who he couldn't detach, but boy did he try.

It was Bucky who was there after that, when he started fighting. He had them on the ropes he'd tell 'im. They got an apartment together and supported each other just fine.

Bucky went out and got most of the money but Steve bought them things and did odd jobs here and there. When he was sick was the worst. The winters were harsh and they didn't have much money. Bucky stayed up all night which he called "night watch" to make sure Steve hadn't died.

Then there were the dames that Bucky would try and set Steve up with, no matter how many times he said no. Bucky always made sure they had a friend. And when the date failed they usually came home and stayed up way later than they usually did and beat one's gums. Bucky would tell him "I can practic'ly hear ya ma stevie, "don't take any wooden nickels and go to bed!',"

They'd often take some giggle water and dance around their apartment because thats what they'd do.

And when the war hit they had many arguments about signing up together. He was too frail Bucky would argue. But he wasn't, he didn't want to sit at home while Bucky went to die. He was Steve's life. One way or another.

Bucky left. And Steve alone once more, but he had one shot at getting in. Just one and he's use it till he dropped dead. The experiment on him worked. He was better, he had no health problems and he could run a mile.

They'd made him a chorus girl. He could hear Bucky jestering him while he was up there. Then the General told him he was missing behind enemy lines, and everything changed. He'd charged in there without a care for his life and found him. Chained to a table muttering random numbers.

He could remember Bucky's astonishment after which quickly turned into anger for joining the war.

His hand didn't reach out far enough when it could have. The train was going too fast and hydra had to be stopped. It didn't matter since he didn't have him. Bucky fell. Much like he was now. He wondered if Bucky flashed through his life.

Then he woke up, in a new world. Vaguely he remembered Bucky telling they were going to the future. Little did he know it would happen. Fighting along side the avengers. After the battle was won he went back to his apartment. He didn't really speak to any of them.

He did realise that they were all on first name basis with each other while he still referred to them by their last name or code names. Always refer to rule 1 he'd think.

Then he saw Bucky again. His world was colour again but Bucky didn't remember him. Which was okay.

Steve hit the water. There won't be any ice to freeze him now. And the three bullets to his stomach would make sure he stayed dead. He shivered. Smiling slightly he hoped that Nick would be okay and the rest of the avengers would slowly forget about him. But he wished the hardest that Bucky would regain at least some of his memories. Or maybe he didn't. It might be painful for Bucky if he died.

The water flooded his lungs. And Steve closed his eyes.


End file.
